Forgiveness
Is it hard for you to
forgive?
Have you ever seen a
parent (or been that parent) trying to get your child to say, “I’m sorry.”? It
is easier for some to say I’m sorry than others. I would also then have the
other child say, “I forgive you.” Some children can offer forgiveness more
readily than others. I remember one instance when my daughter said, “But, mom,
he’s not sorry.” I explained that her brother said he was sorry, it was up to
her to forgive him now. She then said, “But he didn’t mean.” The real problem
was she was having trouble forgiving. We are expected to forgive even if the
offender never says, “I’m sorry.” Do we realize that or do we just choose to
ignore it?
2 Corinthians 2:7-8
“So that contrariwise
ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should
be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. Wherefore I beseech you that ye would
confirm your love toward.”
We show our love by
forgiving. It is not always easy to forgive. We need to forgive for the sake of
the offender, and we need to forgive for our own sake. When we harbor our hurt
it festers and grows, turning into bitterness. Our bitterness will then affect
more than just us.
Hebrews 12:15
“Looking diligently
lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up
trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”
The person we say we
cant forgive becomes our master. Our bitterness toward them controls our
thoughts and actions. It consumes us. All we think about is how they hurt us
and how we can get even. God’s Word clearly states if we do not forgive, God
will not forgive us.
Matthew 6:14-15
“For if ye forgive men
their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive
not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
I have heard people
say, “I can never forgive that person” that is scary. If you don’t forgive
them, God wont forgive you, then what? There will come a time when we will need
forgiveness. We reap what we Sow. Believe me, I know it is extremely hard to
forgive when we have been deeply hurt. Sometimes it is a process. We cannot
just snap our fingers and forgive. Yes, forgiveness is a choice, and a
commandment. It is still something we struggle with and have to surrender to
God, maybe more than one time.
Write the hurt or name
of the offender on a piece of paper. Hold it in your hands and lift it up to
God. “Here, God, I give this hurt to you. Please help me to let it go and
forgive as you have forgiven me.” Then get rid of the paper. If you need to do
this more than once, don’t feel like you are the only one who struggles like
this. We need to continually strive to gain victory through forgiveness.
Matthew 5:44
“But I say unto you,
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”
There is something
about praying for someone that can bring healing and change our attitude. The
hardest thing about forgiveness is we feel we are giving up our right to be
hurt if we forgive. We feel the other person won’t know how much they hurt us
if we forgive easily.
In order to forgive we
have to surrender that right to be hurt. We give up our resentment and our desire
to punish. When we finally let it go and forgive we have such a peace, such a
release. I have heard people say, “Get over it”. I have seen those same people
realize it is not as easy as they say when they are the ones who have been
hurt. Unforgiveness will hinder our prayers.
Mark 11:25-26
“And when ye stand
praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is
in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither
will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
We all know the truth
about forgiving. Now we must obey and live the truth. If we have to do it one
day at a time, one hour at a time or even one minute at a time, we must do it.
1 Peter 1:22
“Seeing ye have
purified your souls in obeying the truth through the spirit unto unfeigned (not
fake, but real) love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure
heart fervently:”
